That was something. For all of the stories you hear about authors busting their humps to get word out about their books, I’d say flying to another city and doing five events in three days while eight months pregnant trumps them all. Last night’s party was a fitting, fulfilling end. All of the readers were great, and the crowd actually stuck around on a Sunday night to hear the two bands, which is a rarity. The best moment of storytelling, however, may have come when Judson Claiborne told of his great grandmother, whose husband shot her twice in the face, and she plugged the hole in skull with her thumb and walked to the hospital. It was that kind of night.

Thanks to everyone who came out to any of the many events, and particular thanks to the ludicrous Brian Costello Show with Brian Costello, and the beautiful Writers’ Workspace for hosting Susannah. And of course to the home-away-from-home Hideout. It had been too long.

We got a headstart on our April Fool’s issue this week at TOC, since April 1 happens on a Tuesday and we hit stands on Thursdays. The goof had Donald Trump buying our mag and then reconceptualizing it in his image (i.e. a story on how to dress more expensively, another about how landmarks should be destroyed in favor of condos, etc.). The real philosophical underpinning, of course, came from the recent shakeups in Chicago, and elsewhere, that’s included layoffs at just about every media company in town (TOC included). So what’s left for a magazine to do but sell out to Trump?

We had a blast putting the issue together, but didn’t really expect people to take it seriously. Turns out, loads of people did. Lots of comments on the blog and elsewhere on the site, threatening canceled subscriptions, etc. One reader told Trump, “Your not that great man!” Of course, the best reaction came from Crain’s Chicago Business, which bought the story hook line and sinker, and reported it as true.

One of the pieces I wrote for the issue was a clubs review as Tara Conner, disgraced Miss USA. Check out the comments on the bottom. People eat celebrities alive.

Ah, to be in college again:

Today is featherproof’s third birthday. No, no no. It’s fine. Seriously. We didn’t expect you to remember. We didn’t tell anyone because we didn’t want to make a big thing of it. But we do have an itch to celebrate something, so we’ve declared the upcoming end of week Susannah Felts Weekend. She deserves it, having earned praise around the country, and now stopping in Chicago for a three-day spree. Here’s the calendar for her whistle-stop tour:

Small Press Month Showcase
Friday, March 28, 7pm-10pm, Free
SAIC Ballroom, 112 S Michigan Ave.
With readers from Answer Tag Home Press, Cracked Slab Books, Dancing Girl Press, Fractal Edge Press, March Abrazo Press, Puddin’ Head Press, Switchback Books

The Brian Costello Show with Brian Costello
Saturday, March 29, 3pm, Free
The Empty Bottle
With Mark Bazer and “Dan the Fan”

Author Coffee
The Writers’ Workspace
Sunday, March 30, 3pm, Free
Discussing anything you like over coffee and homemade, baked feathergoods

THIS WILL GO DOWN ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD Release Party!

March 30, 2008 07:00PM
The Hideout
1354 W Wabansia
$5

With readings by:

Susannah Felts

J. Adams Oaks

Patrick Somerville

Eileen Favorite

And music from:

Judson Claiborne

and The Pawners’ Society

But while you await the weekend, help us celebrate the birth of two beautiful new mini-books:

All My Homes, by Paul Fattaruso (author of the forthcoming, mind-blowing Bicycle, as well as other awesome books.)

and

Sunday Morning in 1982 by Susan Petrone (you may have recently read her in Glimmer Train)

And while we have you here, we’ll just let you know quickly that Saturday at 1pm, you should tune in to Re: Sound on WBEZ, 91.5 (or wbez.org), to hear one of featherproof’s two dads, Jonathan Messinger, discussing The Dollar Store and reading a story. And on Saturday, April 5, the other daddy, Zach Plague, will read as part of the Oops! series at Heaven Gallery. And then on April 9, Messinger will read from Hiding Out and some new work at Roosevelt University’s Gage Gallery at 5pm.

Happy Susannah Felts Weekend, everyone. And happy birthday, us!

A couple years ago, I wrote a story for The Dollar Store called “Eight Permutations on the Binoculars of Power.” It was sort of a funny little piece that takes eight vignettes featuring binoculars and lines them up 1 through 8, then finishes them off 8 through 1. I ended up publishing it as a featherproof mini-book, originally in dearly departed Resonance. It didn’t fit quite right into the main text of Hiding Out so I decided to make it one of the hidden stories (originally, I thought it might run one line at a time, at the bottom of each page). I thought that was probably about as much life as I could expect from the little guy.

But today, I received an email from a guy named Brady Russell, a writer in Philadelphia who downloaded and read a bunch of minis on a train ride to Washington, D.C. (This is what the minis are for, people!). He read and liked Eight Permutations, and wrote his own version, called “8 Permutations on the Electric Screwdriver of Power.” He then challenged his buddies to write one, using the form, and one of his pals has already followed suit.

Russell sort of jokingly claims that the 1 through 8, 8 through 1 style could eventually be called “a messinger.” And considering the amount of stupid stunts I’ve pulled in my time—i.e. ramming a snow sled into a moving vehicle, getting my head stuck in a fence—I wholeheartedly support this, before I do something else that warrants the title. Regardless, it’s fun to see people get into it.

Here’s the original pdf, downloadable off the mothership: